Special Forces - Veterans

Special Forces - Veterans - Aleksandr Voinov, Marquesate, Vashtan "There be dragons, and he’d been riding on one for too long."

So it comes to an end. I am currently in mourning. I was desperate to get through Dan and Vadim’s story because I needed to see how this epic love story ended. Now that it’s over I want to start all over again. I miss them.

Special Forces put me through the wringer. I am, at this moment an emotional basket case. Honestly though? It was worth it. Getting to see the development of a relationship that spans 25 years with beautiful highs and soul crushing lows was just amazing and ‘Veterans’ made it all worth it.

"Separated not by war – but by peace."

Now to get to the good stuff you need to go through the tough stuff and the first 2/3’s of ‘Veterans’ is the tough stuff. Both Dan and Vadim need to face their demons, learn to live with all that has come before and most of all they both need to heal. That healing is not easy for either, their inability to communicate makes it all even more painful to witness. But ‘Veterans’ is very cathartic and even though it felt like my heart had yet again been ripped out things never felt completely hopeless. The gift of a bullet in the Kuwaiti desert gives you something to hang onto and a love that was forged in hell fire seems able to withstand just about anything.

"Pain always brought relief in the end. Even if it was only the relief of its absence."

There are still things that I don’t understand. Decisions they have made along the way and things they do that I still don’t get but Dan and Vadim are not perfect, not by a long shot. Like us all they are flawed and those flaws make what they have even more wonderful. This series has poked at a lot of soft spots for me, it has also thrown stuff at me that has made me feel deeply uncomfortable and previously would’ve made me stop reading. I’m still not comfortable with some of the things that happened but for some reason I’ve learned to accept the things they did to each other and those around them.

"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real".

Cormac McCarthy

Without a doubt my favourite of the 3 cycles has been ‘Soldiers’ even though they cause each other the most damage in it we get to see something amazing happen. We get to see two enemies, two wild animals find something that is beautiful and fragile in events that are ugly and cruel. That something somehow continues to grow even when neglected and the results are truly epic. I really miss them.